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these days
my clouded eyes barely see you –
but I feel you

your heart envelops me
with hugs and scritches and coos

even with my aches
I follow you everywhere –
except now

this staircase has become
my own Mount Everest

so here I wait –
come and kneel at my side
please

I’ll always be your sweetie –
you’ll always be my human –

Linked to the Eclectic Corner Challenge, hosted by Justine at Eclectic Odds N Sods.  We were to create a story about Justine’s photo (His Master’s Feet).

But – I had to write about my own doggie, Farfel.  Farfel is a fifteen-year-old schnauzer with congestive heart failure.  Some days she can’t manage the single porch step – and she has to be carried outside to “do her business”.  Sad, when I remember the leaping puppy trapped somewhere inside that shaky old shell.

Blogging with "Snoredog"

Blogging with “Snoredog”.  (After “Moondog“). 

Farfel is also my very first dog. 

She’s been my buddy – through cancer surgeries and chemo and some really rough times. 

And what a loving heart!

1 25 2015 farfel face 2

The veterinarian says that within the next couple of months we’ll have to put her to sleep.   So, while at the Carpe Diem haiku prompt site we’ve been talking about the New Year – first calligraphy, first well water, first this, first that – we’ll be experiencing a series of “lasts” with Farf.

1 25 2015 farfel face painting

◊◊

Farfel in Raincoat.

Farfel

farfel foot

cranky doggie awakened 2013

You woke me for THIS?

Napping with the old dog ... and we both look a bit frosty ...

farf-1

Farfel 2

←◊→

41 thoughts on “these days (choka)

  1. Really beautiful, Jen. So much emotion, so much empathy, made genuinely moving by your technical skill. I must admit that the last line had my eyes welling up, which isn’t the done thing – because, y’know, I’m male – and English.

    A hug for you and a “scritch” for dear old Farfel.

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    • Thanks Blake —
      Re-read this one and — wow — I miss her so much! Thankfully I’m not finding dog biscuits anymore – but I still hear her little toenails from time to time. And when someone makes me laugh out loud during late night blogging – I look over to where she would have been sleeping – by reflex! – wondering if she’ll snort and give me the old stink eye for waking her.
      You’re so sweet — thanks for the hug — I needed it 🙂

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      • Yes, I think I have a bit better understanding of how you’ve been feeling since I had three days of my own little “loss” recently. I was so lucky in that after three days that loss got cancelled, unexpectedly, but it really made me aware of all the little moments we share with our cats and dogs – like a derisive snort as Farfel’s human went ROFLing 😉

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        • Thank goodness that turned out well with Bootsy! Is she more settled now? She was kind of skittish for a while, right?

          Farf turned up in today’s prompt with CDHK – “nudity”! 😉 It’s getting easier to laugh now – and even the frustrating moments, like a dog not wanting to wear her coat – are smile-worthy. Can’t blame her on the coat – but – she never handled the cold very well. o.O

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        • Hmm having seen some of the photographic evidence of the outfits that Farf sometimes found herself dressed in, I strongly suspect that her reluctance was simply due to her fashion sense kicking in… “Dear god, human, no!” 😛

          I did see the “nudity” prompt at CDHK and my immediate thought was “hoo boy, what on earth will the Girlgoyle post now?!” The mind boggles…

          And Bootsy is much better now, thanks. She likes to stay in pretty close contact – not being able to see much, if she thinks she’s been left alone she’ll start miaowing for reassurance. But that’s all. 🙂

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        • Aw…. poor Bootsy!!!! Can’t blame her tough — not able to see and all.

          But Farf’s coat was pretty tame. A really girly color (gack!) – but tame. 😉

          I was going to skip going “au naturale” in the dungeon — especially with Nick Cave lurking around! – but – perhaps – it’s worth a second thought. Might do the prompt “twice” (one unlinked since it’s a half-written piece of free verse). Was thinking of “nudity” as in “baring *all*” if that makes sense.

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  3. Oh goodness, I was feeling that burning in my eyes half way through, i dont know why i am such a sop about a dogs love for their owner, but when I got to the bottom that finished me off. I am so sorry about your beautiful loving dog, wow your first one as well i cannot imagine how you are feeling. We lost our 10yr pug a few months back, so I am giving you lots of hugs and strength for when you need it.

    That was a totally beautiful poem and thank you so much for joining, really was a beautiful piece of writing, Justine xxx

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  4. Pingback: Snowy.(Choka) | To Wear A Rainbow

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