13 thoughts on “a grief (haiku)

  1. I think your ‘experimental’ form here is very effective. ‘An ocean deep grief’ would be more acceptable, traditionally speaking, but for me it’s less effective because it delays the arrival of the grief – when a person’s reading their mind leaps about ever so quickly and before reaching that grief all sorts of images at the bottom of the ocean would get in the way). Plus, using the brackets even seems to imitate the plaque – or maybe that’s just me being odd 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks Blake 🙂

      I hadn’t thought of the brackets imitating the plaque — “inadvertent brilliance” right? (Kidding!) Glad the experimental form worked — I wanted to emphasize both the ocean and grief and this seemed to be the most effective means. Very glad it still holds up after a second reading — perhaps it’s time to use those brackets again. 🙂

      Like

      • Hey, inadvertent brilliance is still brilliant, right? 😉 And surely, those Beat guys made great play of ‘inadvertence’?

        You always move so smoothly from a classical to experimental tone, without it feeling forced.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear. I’m so sorry about the connection again 😦
    Photo isn’t a stunning one, but I did like the “teal” against the corroded copper.
    Hope tomorrow brings a better Internet day!

    Like

      • Thanks! Mostly corroded copper (turquoise) except it’s teal where the water has puddled on it. 🙂

        I found out that there are many, many of these plaques — one is on Wikipedia — it’s at Central Park. Theirs is in much better shape though – all polished, not scratched.

        Had NO IDEA this was here!

        Like

        • Wonder we still have it — it’s in a location where people are always having car wrecks. Yes, it’s behind poles and stuff — but you can see where it took at least one powerful SMASH. But — a neat find. 🙂

          Like

    • You should share them sometime 🙂
      I was so stunned to find this teeny little plaque in the square – tucked away – Forgotten. Had no idea a local man died on the Maine. Which was doubly sad.

      Liked by 1 person

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s