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Your Grezzle and You:
A User’s Guide

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Your Grezzle comes equipped with a factory-sealed skirfslanger.  There are no user-serviceable parts.  However, should you encounter static or disagreeable harsling, please contact us:
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Grezzle.com.uk
Grezzle.com.au
GrezzlingIsAwesome.com
Grezzle.com.jp
Grezzle.com.ar

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You will need your Grezzle’s serial number – this is stamped inside the clane door (Fig. C).

Following these basic rules will ensure
years of pleasurable nenexity:

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1. After nenexifying, always clean your Grezzle with warm water and a gentle detergent. Do not immerse your Grezzle or corrosion and skillifying will occur.

2. To regulate intensity, firmly grasp the swing-bassoot and slide it into the skirfslanger assembly until you hear a gentle vvvvip. Do not force.

3. Under certain circumstances, your Grezzle may emit frequencies that interfere with certain wireless devices. If this occurs, turn off the other devices.

4. Just kidding. If your Grezzle interferes with your other wireless devices, joggle the swing-bassoot until proper skirfslanger yarning is achieved.

5. Overuse of your Grezzle may cause burning, stinging, itching, weeping, uncontrollable laughter, uncontrollable crying, memory loss, burning, stinging, memory loss, oozing, etc.

6. If your Grezzle interferes with your other wireless devices, joggle the swing-bassoot.

7. Use of non-Grezzle attachments is not recommended and will void your warranty. (But it may be fun.)

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Thank you for flying with Grezzle!

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The Grezzle Help Line:

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 Linked to the Tale Weaver Prompt at MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie, where we were given a nonsense word – “grezzle” – and asked to tell a story (250 words or less) about it.  For some reason, as soon as I saw the word “grezzle” I thought, “Oh, you’ll need a swing-bassoon.”  (I changed it to “bassoot”.)  Then it turned into an instruction manual – hope you’ll forgive me, Michael! 

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32 thoughts on “Your Grezzle and You (User’s Guide)

  1. It’s getting a bit late over here and I’ve got the women’s football (that’s soccer for y’all) world cup quarter final playing (England 2, Canada 1 at half time), so I suppose it’s forgiveable if my attention wanders… but I did read nenexifying and think “what’s nenexifying? have I heard of nenexifying…? something else I know nothing about! let me read some more…” 😛

    Like

  2. Is this not a cool post! What imagination and I love how serious it sounds … I’m really going to have to run out and get me a grezzle asap!!! 😀

    Like

  3. I think there’s a flaw on the instruction relating to the kezzleflue —

    the retracting flange doesn’t swing in at all–
    — it springs out and has caused serious injury.

    The only solution is to replace it with a version 7.4 Grezzle, which offers the option to have it squirt out instead.

    Other than that, a very fropirrkly post indeed. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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