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spring thaw haiku haiga

spring thaw –  
brushing the silence
of the frozen pond

spring thaw tanka haiga

spring thaw:  
brushing the silence
of the frozen pond

when the water flows freely
will it bring light       
                                                     [ or shadow]

Linked to Carpe Diem #683: Brush

Not sure if I like either one of these, so I shall walk away — hands thrust in my pockets — whistling.  But – yes – this is the same swamp you’ve seen many times.  

All By Myself 

Cat Tails 

Whose Voice is This

Chandelier

3 7 2015 frozen swamp reflections ice 5a

“Spring Thaw” – Alternate

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10 thoughts on “spring thaw (haiku / tanka)

  1. I do like the image of you walking away — hands thrust in my pockets — whistling 🙂 But really, the haiku is lovely, don’t you think – the way it blends the senses while retaining the frozen pond’s sense of stillness.

    And reading all your recent (for me) experiments has made me realise that I haven’t don’t too much that’s experimental lately…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yay – I love your experiments! It will be good to see what you come up with 🙂

      Yes – the haiku is the better version here. After reading Jane R’s letter on tanka I see that this is just barely within the spirit of tanka. And that stillness – that was the key here. 🙂

      I was so frustrated with this at the time – kind of amusing now! 🙂

      Like

  2. Guess I have been thinking a bit about working on experimenting with changing a few word in a single post to get feedback, too. The first is wonderful. The second begs for even more followup as in a Tan Renga party.

    Liked by 1 person

    • No worries! I understand — unless there’s a connecting theme you sort of get lost if you try to jump from haiku to haiku to haiku — it’s confusing — overwhelming. It’s like sitting to read a book of haiku cover to cover. Too much.

      This was a bit of an experiment – and everyone at CDHK is so helpful and so kind in providing feedback in these cases. Your feedback has been a wonderful part of that and I’m grateful 🙂

      Like

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