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spring road trip haiga

Version One

spring road trip:
vacationing leaves
adrift in a tire

Version Two

spring road trip:
last autumn’s leaves
cruise in an old tire

Linked to Carpe Diem Writing Techniques #11 – which is “baransu” – a technique coined by our host and means “balance”.   With balance, the images in each line have a clear association in the next line:

Here is Chevrefeuille’s explanation:

“Haiku has three lines as you all know and maybe we can bring balance in these three lines, by association. I will give an example (by the way the following haiku are just for explaining baransu):

Example 

‘a walk through the city’ … in this line we already a few possible things to associate on e.g. “walk” and “city”. I have chosen to use “walk” to associate on.

‘step by step I discover’ … in this line the possible associations can be on “step” and “discover”. I have chosen to us “discover” and came to this third line:

‘a newly built world’ … Let me bring the three lines to each other than the following haiku will be formed:

a walk through the city
step by step I discover
a newly built world

© Chèvrefeuille

Snowflake Medallion 3. Graphics Fairy.

Here is another example of baransu explained:

suzukaze no totoki mori no miyai kana

the shrine
in the sacred grove:
a cool wind blows

© Chora (Tr. R.H. Blyth)

“In this haiku you can see how Chora has done some associating on ‘shrine’ which brought him ‘sacred grove’, but then … that last line ‘a cool wind blows’, [what] did he associate on? I think he associated on ‘sacred grove’ translating it to ‘spirit’ or ‘ghost’ and came up with ‘wind’ which could be easily seen as referring to ‘ghost’ or ‘spirit’.”

Hopefully my haiga follows the principle of balance and association – I started with the end in mind though (the photo of the tire).  Road trip led to vacation, spring led to leaves, the leaves led to adrift, and the tire led back to the road trip.  BUT I like both versions – so you get two haiga.

leaves in tire

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28 thoughts on “spring road trip (haiga)

  1. What a groovy version of Route 66 – I haven’t heard that before.

    For me, the phrase “adrift in a tire” swings my vote to that version; for the phrase itself and because it sums up the image so exactly 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Blake! This is helpful, even now. I like that version too — or perhaps the mixed version below. But — it does seem to sum up the image / feeling nicely.

      Glad you liked the DM Route 66 version — very groovy indeed! 😀

      Like

  2. A great post and hard to choose between the two haiku … I like how you explained how you reached your inspiration … the photo for your haiga is really cool … and it would encourage me to choose the haiku you chose for it … the leaves are adrift without a doubt 🙂

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        • Ya got THAT right! LOL!
          Sometimes there’s as much strain in a haiku as — dare I say it? — fornyrdislag!
          [Insert image of Georgia rolling her eyes **here**]

          Like

        • You got that right … I’m rolling my eyes!! I remember when I was writing for WDBWP and they put up a contest and shunned the haiku … as though it was child’s play … I didn’t appreciate the aspersions at all.

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        • No, I thought you’d roll your eyes at mention of the fornyrdislag 😉

          They shunned the haiku? Yeesh. Pathetic. Well, remember I told you about that blog that called haiku “lazy poetry” — not once; as a regular feature. Uck. Wanted to smash a big ol’ can of whoop-ass over their cyber head(s). People have no idea. And of course – this person’s “haiku” were — well — crap. 😉

          Like

        • And so I did in fact!

          They sure did .. saying that it wouldn’t probably hold up with real poetry or something in that direction … usually people who take the attitude towards haiku as it being ‘lazy poetry’ or ‘kids stuff’ couldn’t write a haiku if their life depended on it … they just do’t know what haiku is!

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        • I had no idea what haiku was, either, until I started to dig … my first attempts were just “wangle something together in 5/7/5 and call it haiku” – no CLUE what I was doing.

          The attitude you describe? Makes me wanna swat someone with a two by four. Or perhaps a five by seven. By five. 😉

          [KIDDING!]

          Like

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