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night falls haiga

Linked to Carpe Diem Haiku Kai, Willow.  I got a bit carried away with this post — sorry!   And – sadly – while I have tons of photos, I have only TWO sessions involving willows.  One has vultures – and one has CATS!  (Enjoy, Bastet, dear!)

8 6 2014 norlo park cats 3

But perhaps, gentle reader, you don’t like the haiga at the top of the page.  You don’t like the idea of deer dying under the willows.  (I wasn’t so crazy about it at the time, either.)  Why don’t I get rid of the vulture and use “deer” and “dying” differently?  

evening deer

John Singer Sargent, adapted.

Hmm… much better!  I’ll throw in a senryu as a bonus.  😉

night falls
under the willows –
last breath

evening –
the deer are dying
under the willows

◊ 

your eyes
under the willows –
please –

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23 thoughts on “night falls / evening / please (haiga / senryu)

  1. This is going to sound a bit odd, but… vultures? Wow! Speaking from England, with its mostly small and polite wildlife, It would be weirdly impressive to see them perched in a nearby tree :S

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  2. First of all, you have the most AMAZING stories! I can only imagine what happened when Ed pulled the underwear out of his pocket … oh my! And then … he didn’t “get” the song. Poor fella.

    “Ed, Free & Me” sounds like a GREAT title — and hey — glad you found that extra motivation! 🙂

    This has been fun! 😀

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    • Oh dear — sorry about that — I must have forgotten to send the link! http://bookscover2cover.com/writers/jen-rosenberry/ The background information might be going live next week – I’ll let you know when it happens. Doing my best to explain without overwhelming people who’ve never heard of haibun before – but it’s as much a feel and a state as a technique, perhaps. That would **also** make interesting forest conversation 🙂

      And yes — I took minefield as a compliment 😉

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    • Renga with Bastet is always fun 🙂 I need to get off my backside and continue our story, too!
      It was a terribly sad moment – but – I guess it’s part of life, too. And it was a wonderful glimpse of the vultures too. Beautiful in their own way, really.

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    • Yes, it was terrible. Couldn’t figure out why vultures were roosting in that lovely spot at the creek. Then it hit me. 😦

      But we haijin have the option of rewriting history, right?
      Thanks for visiting.

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  3. Agree with Dom .. and enjoyed the bonus very much! I feel so sorry for those deer! But what about that cool cat!!!

    fronded willow
    perfect green umbrella
    – cat waits for sunshine

    under the willow
    her lover’s scent lingers
    the cat waits

    … here the weather starts out sunny in the morning then clouds up and drops enough rain to ruin any thoughts of walking .. I do hope we won’t have a summer like last year!

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    • Weather’s been weird for the past 2-3 years, hasn’t it? Yes, let’s hope Mother Nature plays nicely!

      Aren’t those kitties neat? I sort of thought of them like the tough-biker-gang of the park, you know? 😉

      Very cool haiku! The second one is ambiguous — is the lover human – or another kitty? Well, kitty-love isn’t all that romantic, is it? I opt for a human:

      under the willow
      her lover’s scent lingers
      the cat waits

      she strokes her cheek and quivers
      remembering kisses

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      • yes, kitty love isn’t very romantic .. in fact I think we’re the only romantics of the lot!

        with closed eyes
        his lingering phantom touch
        still warms on her skin

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        • well … the mourning doves start out on a nice romantic note … but then with all the beak-grabbing it gets interesting (They like it rough sometimes. Who knew?) 😉 Okay – this is an awkward link – but here goes:

          one willow leaf nuzzles her cheek
          and she shivers

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        • Ah … if I remember correctly, pigeons like swans are ‘faithful’ but yes they like it pretty rough … and you should hear the sparrows! Ah – a challenge!

          remembering
          his sweet seeking lips
          butterfly kisses

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        • Yes, if one pigeon (or mourning doves, too) dies, the other one will waste away quite often.
          I’m going to let this sit overnight — and think about it 🙂
          But — like you said — perhaps we should continue this one underground? o.O

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