a song in yellow
in wind-blown forsythias –
slightly out of tune
in soft notes, swirling
out of reach
on cherry blossoms
skipping from note to note
a soft April breeze
Why the music? “Desafinado” means “off key” or “out of tune”. And I couldn’t get a good photo of the flowers tonight to save my life – out of focus, out of tune. Too windy. And — this blog has never featured Getz, Gilberto, or Jobim. Tragic!
Here is what our host Chèvrefeuille has to say on the matter of syllable-counting:
“As you all know I am not a fan of the strict syllables count mostly because of the idea that it is too structured for me and gives to less freedom to compose my haiku … and becoming artificial. There are several haiku poets of our times who started with that 5-7-5 idea, but during their growth as a haiku poet they more and more got rid of the 5-7-5 rule.
To start with haiku it’s ok to use that 5-7-5 rule, but try to lose it after a while, more or less syllables will not harm your haiku … and it gives you more freedom to compose haiku from your heart. In my opinion using the 5-7-5 rule is really artificial and more with your mind, your brain, and I think poetry has nothing to do with artificiality or your brain. Maybe this is a pure western thought, but I think we, westerners, have re-formed haiku to our western way of thinking, living and so on.
I think we have to let go the 5-7-5 rule and have to try writing haiku as westerners. It’s not a “sin” if you don’t use the 5-7-5 rule, it’s more a blessing to become free of that rule…. it makes haiku (in my opinion) even better and stronger.”
Take that, stuffy literati! More freedom! I’m all for it.
Our task, then, was to demonstrate the difference in 5/7/5; 3/5/3; and free style by attempting to write in all three voices. (Because, really, you are looking at three voices, aren’t you? At least that’s my opinion.)